Ah, to be young and without a care in the world again! You know, like back when there were terrible versions of great songs, and you were unemployed?
Back then though, being unemployed really didn't matter because you lived with your parents, or in my case, my mother and her boyfriend. I'd only pay a tenner a week board and utilities and the rest would go on cream cakes and (no bullshit) trips to Liverpool - It was after all where my then-girlfriend lived.
And of course, the morality of it all; the sponging off of the state to those that do work, the reckless use of money on crack cocaine and the frequent money being sent to terrorism training camps in the West Midlands (or thereabouts) because fuck it; it's not your money.
But what about now I'm older? How does having no job deeply affect my life? Well, let's run through it in a whistle stop tour I like to call (But hate to live through) my perspective... which is also the title of someone's album. Probably. In fact; don't search it. I just did and it's free advertising... Oh shit; imagine I never said it.
Anyway, read this:
5. Being unemployed gives you all the time in the world...
It's great not having a job, isn't it? You have no one telling you who is the boss of you, apart from the job centre; as they'll always be the boss of you as they're linked to central and local government, But fuck it. In your house; your the boss!
You want to play on the PlayStation and get a Platinum trophy whilst scratching your nuts? Go for it!
You want to browse the internet all day looking at NSFW articles written by great people and that I base these very lists come blogs on? Sure!
Do you want to lie in bed all day stroking your pussy and looking at your puppies wishing they'd get bigger? No! I don't mean that!
It's a hard-knock life...
Aren't these the Mitchell Brothers?
The problem with having too much time on your hands, in my experience is that time can easily be lost and mismanaged if your perhaps not in the most logical frame of mind; as that ten minutes or so checking formula one testing quickly devolves into a four hour orgy of random web browsing, trying to find the best picture to go with the last sentence that you just wrote on-line in a random blog or social media post.
When in reality, any old shit will do.
Part of this problem could further begin to unconsciously colonize other parts of your life (the first draft of this is currently being written at 3:15 AM Saturday, and upon semi completion, it's now 21:49 Sunday), and begin to interrupt sleeping, eating and potentially pooping patterns.
But what becomes of you when literally the entire day is your oyster? All twenty four beautiful hours of hedonistic, pure, single person delight? Why of course, you get a hobby...
4. But having all the time in the world doesn't mean freedom financially.
...And of course hobbies can potentially be damned expensive. My hobbies are generally music, films and video games. The cheapest of which is potentially music if I were to buy an album, But that is still around say £7 a time, so what happens if you have no savings? You beg steal and borrow.
He seemed to have such a simple life. Until Ronald shot him for unlawful entry.
I'm not condoning any form of piracy But at the same time, we've all done it most probably. If you've ever lent an album, single, video, dvd or video game then you've committed copyright infringement. Have you ever recorded a song from the radio? Same. Hell, even sky plus or tivo is technically a validation of rights on an intellectual property, as you don't own that viewing from sky; your merely renting.
Going back to the value of an album at the singular, what I deem average figure (as I like physical copies of my stuff); £7 is to a person unemployed in the United Kingdom one-tenth of their money for a week. Could you justify spending a day's - maybe two if your savvy enough - food budget on the new Rihanna album?
Your choice - Tasty salad bowl, or tripe.
One of the points I'm trying to vaguely make is I have no savings as thankfully I can still live at home with my mom's partner, But I am there or thereabouts constantly trying to challenge myself on what I need and don't need, and what is value and what isn't. It's a constant tug of war as this week I may want to eat well with fresh things and next week I may decide to just get drunk, or maybe just for once get out the bloody house - which will cost more between the two is always in the back of my mind, and comes into consideration when also buying my entertainment purchases.
The eventuality I'm trying to put forward from that is simple; if you don't have the money, you can't enjoy your time. It becomes a monotonous existence within the same four walls, and all that's there everyday is you and your pussy.
Gettin' warmer!
Which brings us to...
3. Lack of financial freedom leads to reclusive behaviour.
With having no money comes a great discipline in trying to protect yourself in health of the body and mind which humanity forgets originated in the original karate kid movie from the 80's.
Why do I think of Celine Dion and a boat when I see this?
I have my flaws and weaknesses though such as an addictive personality whenever I find something exciting or enticing. Or both.
During my problems I've been a gambler, a drinker and a real deep thinker. I play my music in the sun. I've also been a joker, a smoker and a late night toker. But I hate bragging. With these problems though you find yourself with less money, spending most of your time on the internet trying to get some semblance of normality as a keyboard warrior and essentially demanding to anyone and everyone that they listen to you; as if you were effectively ruling the town/country/world you live in and their life depends on it. The right way to go about it is kinda like this.
Unfortunately, the more you do this, actually the more disjointed from reality you truly become. This is because for all of your good intentions your actually scaring people with your Utopian values, as opposed to the Atlanticist values that your leaders of the free world are taking and projecting to the masses.
If you didn't read the last link, here's a picture. You're welcome :)
Of course, some of these ideas new people will take to heart and agree with you on social networks. That's what they're there for. The downside of this is that you are alienating the people who have potentially stood by you for years; if not close to your whole damned life. This then leads them down a very fragile path: do they stick by their (obviously now) sick friend who is showing ambitions of a reincarnated of Hitler, or do they quietly ignore that person?
It appears most of the people I know, in my situation chose the latter. It's not a great deal to go on, But I have around 40 friends on Facebook, which I believe is an acceptable "I can cope with this type of news feed and stay in contact" type of scenario. By my literal "just now" thought, maybe four or five will willingly talk to me. And one of those is also my free-thinking devil-may-care half-brother. Which in a way is perfectly acceptable to me as it's less people to cope with...
2. Reclusive behaviour leads to a lack of a (true) social life.
On the reverse side of this coin though is that you end up with relatively zero to little "real" friends. You know, like the ones to go out for a drink with or a concert. Or a high class Hooker to spit roast. Hey, sharing is caring!
In the last five years or so, since my mom passed, I've gone from enjoying a concert or two a month to sitting at home getting drunk by myself looking something akin to Popeye by the end of the night, whilst also potentially listening to better music (my own choice, so it's the best set list ever kajagoogoo, I tell you!) Without having to spend a fortune on travel, entry, alcohol or the obligatory fast food franchise at the end of the evening.
Me, 24 Years old. We all make mistakes. I also invented the selfie.
The problem with this, as with the above, is that the very small circle of friends that you feel is left quickly diminishes to approximately one. The one person who can truly tolerate you on a personal level. The one who can withstand you no matter what and sees the vagueness of sense you try so hard to squeeze out of every word you type online. My mate is called unsurprisingly, Dave!
Not this one. Though he is freakishly tall, and don't he know it!
The good side of this is I'm never drinking alone, we both have a change of scenery and I don't care about politics, or indeed anything really; as we do "fun" stuff like murdering decent guitar based songs like this:
Of course we also create new and original songs such as this gem.
So whilst there can be some fun in this trail of confusion that follows my life around like a fart in an elevator envisioned like some satanic bloody-assed burrito eater, I still wouldn't recommend it as an exercise in a truly fulfilling life!
1. A lack of a social life can lead to mental health issues.
Hey, you! Remember when you had friends? Remember all of those happy times that you still recall with such great fondness?
What? You want to do them again? Well it's not too late! It just takes a bit/lot of effort with my five point plan (you're reading it, and yes, your welcome - I'll await the post-requisite £5 reading fee in my PayPal within 24 hours)!
Seriously (never!), given the above you should have seen where this was going. It was never going to be a plucky tale of a rabbit named Peter or a hedgehog named sonic.
Although it's still infinitely a better life than hers.
If your not careful, you can really lose the plot at any point in these five stages I've outlined. I did. But I was already diagnosed with depression, which as I've said before (I think) is now mid-to-long term according to my doctors. I have terrible low days and great funny high days, booze dependent most of the time. Only lately am I finding a way through all of this (and remember this is based on my own problems I've encountered) and having a so-called happy medium.
Hopefully, through reading this; whether you are unemployed or not you may see something similar to yourself, realise it and deal with it. See a doctor, try that new hobby or kill that annoying neighbour. Whatever makes you feel good*
The last thing that anyone needs on top of "realism" is a mental problem that could last and impact their lives for worse at any given time. You don't need that and sure to hell your family and friends don't need the worry and grief you could potentially exert onto them without realizing it. Talk to people, have a cry; but most importantly: stay in control.
Having no job is hard mentally as it is with rejections of applications and compounded by the financial constraints that go along with it. Yes, it may seem terrible But don't let everyone put you off. You're not a failure, you're an individual. It'll serve you well in your life to remember that, and not be shat on by "the man".
*disclaimer; please do not kill your neighbors
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